From: http://blog2endhunger.blogspot.com/
Going hungry isn’t fun. It doesn’t feel good to the body or to the soul either. But it happens. It can happen to anyone. It has happened to me more than once. More than I’d like to admit, but, I think that people should know that no matter who you are, there’s always that chance that you could be wondering where your next meal is going to come from.
I’ve always had a difficult time either getting or keeping a job. Keeping one has been the most difficult for me. I have a daughter who misses me so much when I’m not home that she gets depressed, which has stressed me out too much. I have never been able to handle this situation well. And since I put myself in this situation, I hope to help others by sharing my story so that maybe they’ll know that they’re not alone or that they don’t have to go through what I did. There is help out there.
My daughter’s father used to buy groceries for her, but it was only enough for her and it was only when he would pick her up on a Saturday or Sunday. If he didn’t pick her up, then she went without for that week. And back then I wasn’t able to get food stamps. Now I’m not so sure that should have been the case, but, anyway, this meant that there wasn’t a lot of food in the house, so, I skipped a lot of meals to make sure that my daughter would have food. I usually ate when I started to feel weak. I’m not sure how well I hid the pain from my daughter. She’s pretty in tune with my emotions.
My daughter’s father stopped coming over to pick her up because she didn’t want to go with him, he didn’t buy her food either. So, we were really running low on food. It was so sad when my daughter would still be hungry after eating one helping of food. It also broke my heart when she would be eating and I wouldn’t join her. She look up at me with her beautiful brown eyes and I’d see a tear or two running down each cheek, which would ofen bring me to tears that I had been holding in. It got to the point where I didn’t even want to see look at my daughter’s face anymore.
I had to find a way to help ease her sadness. I explained to her that she needed to eat more than I did because she’s still growing and it wasn’t going to hurt me to eat less. I think she would tell me that she was full before her food was gone, just so that I could eat the rest.
I went to the pantry a few times and each time it was like we had one the lottery. I’d look in the cupboards that had once been almost completely empty and just thanked God that someone out there cares enough to buy food for the pantry and that there is somewhere to go to.
I did get emergency food stamps a couple of times, but for one reason or another, I’d get denied to get any on a regular basis. So, I tried to make them last by not eating too much myself. But I also couldn’t let my daughter not have seconds every single day. It just broke my heart too much.
I still don’t have a job and I have been getting the Link card for a few months, so now our cupboards are full. And so is my freezer. I still look in my cupboards and my freezer sometimes and thank God for how blessed I am.
I’m sitting here eating some almonds that I bought a couple of months ago. And I’m drinking a cup of coffee with french vanilla creamer. I enjoy my food more. I still eat junk food sometimes, but I eat healthier than I used to. I had missed snacks. Popcorn. Strawberries and banana yogurt. I savor everything I put in my mouth. And I don’t waste food. My daughter now understands why that is so important. She doesn’t like leftovers too much, but she remembers when we didn’t even have enough food for leftovers.